Like almost everyone else I’ve found a lot of old friends on Facebook since joining some time ago. And also (like everyone else) most of my friends are from childhood and are, logically, very close to my age.
At the moment that means were all approaching forty years old, we’re all watching grandparents die, and our parents aren’t getting any younger either. Not that they need any help figuring this out as they say goodbye to their parents.
Those of us who have children are seeing them transition into at least their second or third defined phase. What was once a helpless baby is now an independent thinking, analyzing, and often independent being that doesn’t need us as much as before and is showing strong reflections of what we’ve taught – or exposed to – them.
This rush of diverse emotional feedback causes most of us to reflect inwardly at the things that have happened to us throughout our lives, perhaps more lucidly than ever before.
And how are we going to move forward? I can’t attest to what most of my friends have decided. I feel as if what’s come before is actually a “pre-test” of a sort. It’s almost like saying, “You’re finished with your audition and now it’s time to perform.”
The funniest part is who I thought to be and who I want to be are two entirely different things. What was so important to me not so long ago has become incredibly insignificant. Perhaps I succeeded beyond my wildest expectations too soon. Perhaps my values have changed. Or maybe the world I’ve seen around me is not the same as the world I expected.
Regardless the answer, I feel I’ve learned several things. Everything we were ever told when we were young about not wasting every single moment is true. Every sentiment written in a store-bought card, every story that seems too good to be true, every dream we’ve ever had… there is no reason why we shouldn’t be actively pursuing these.
And mortality truly isn’t the real enemy – it’s regret.
Remember that list you made? Stop looking at it as that thing you rehash every January 1 or throw away every March after you fail to realize your most desired goals. Start checking items off this list, one at a time. If you can’t complete at least some items quickly, add items you can. Be realistic. Don’t set yourself up for failure. More importantly, don’t set yourself up for regret.
Start now, don’t delay. Time doesn’t care if it’s January 1, or January 15, or September 18, or December 11. You can’t delay death so don’t delay your life. Most importantly, don’t delay your goals.
My guess is that’s one thing on which all my forty year old friends would agree.
Here’s how to get started:
1. If you haven’t already, read Getting Things Done by David Allen. If you have, read it again. Here is more info if you haven’t or are unfamiliar. And by the way, his book is available just about everywhere including Amazon (get it here). This will change how you look at everything you do, and in particular will give you amazing control over all the stuff that gets in the way of your most important – yet hardest to achieve – goals.
2. Grab an app that’ll keep you on track every day. My favorite for the Mac is OmniFocus. There’s another one called Things that’s pretty good, and more can be found here. OmniFocus is by no means the cheapest, but are you really going to put a price on gaining control over your achievements? While you’re at it, think about things like syncing with your iPhone or smartphone, because this is something you want to have with you everywhere (OmniFocus, Things, and others have an app for that, by the way). If you don’t have a Mac, try TeuxDeux or use Google’s To-Do list and Calendar apps on the web. Again, I don’t recommend you do this on the cheap because you’ll find yourself right back where you are now. It’s like trying to run a marathon after training by walking around your house.
3. Thoroughly read the document set for the app. In fact, this probably should be done before purchasing, so hopefully you’ve been working with a trial version at this point. See? I’m proof of how important it is to get your life in order!
4. Use every ounce of discipline you have. It’s a change keeping your list updated and close by at all times, but it’s no different than brushing your teeth every day without fail because you don’t want them to fall out. Remind yourself how this is changing your life, and consider this effort your *only* goal for now, since without it all other goals can’t be achieved with nearly the success.
If you need help along the way or simply discipline to stay with it, don’t forget there are hundreds of sources online for assistance and inspiration.
Here’s to a life without regret.
